Pro-feminist men with anti-porn monomania

[flexibeast]

i've recently posted a rant in the feminist_rage community about pro-feminist men who don't seem to be interested in discussing any women's issues apart from those related to porn. It will be interesting to see what sort of comments i get about it.

Comments

[minofsin06.livejournal.com]

If their only issue is porn and not the larger scope, can they really be considered feminists?

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

*nod* Or indeed, even pro-feminist? A good question. :-) Have you had a chance to read through the thread? If so, what do you think of it all?

[minofsin06.livejournal.com]

I'll get to it in a few

[ruth-lawrence.livejournal.com]

I intend to continue writing queer porn. It may turn out to be crap, but it's in part a deliberate *political act*.

Opposition to porn by straight men can be a protect-the-helpless-girlies thing, seems to me.

[xxasimont.livejournal.com]

I don't think I can post there, I tried to join but I don't think they want ftm's, as it's the first closed community I've been knocked back by. I do agree with you though- as I seem to do a lot of the time.
Simon

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

Hmm, that's odd - they're trans-friendly, from what i've seen. Have you asked the mods for a reason for your rejection?

[xxasimont.livejournal.com]

No, I guess I was too intimidated to ask
Simon

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

Well, don't be! It's very reasonable for you to ask for an explanation. sacred_harlot applied to join the community earlier today, and was rejected, because her LJ currently only contains one-entry, and that's friends-only; and she doesn't currently list any interests.

Which LJ user did you join as? Was it xxasimont? And if so, is this journal friends-only, which would leave the mods unable to see that you actually do maintain a journal?

[whosyerparrot2.livejournal.com]

hey, you don't know me, but i saw your post in feminist_rage and I'm a heterosexual guy who cares about more than porn, I was just rejected from the community twice and none of the mods have answered my emails :(

anyway there are people like me who think that glass ceilings should be shattered, who think that ultra-conservative-fetal-gore-weilding assholes should be kept away from clinics, who think that women don't really "want it", who think that it's none of our business whether a woman wants to breast feed in public, who think that doctors should be less quick to say "it's all in your head" and who are just pissed off about sexism in general. feminism rocks!!

[porcineflight.livejournal.com]

I think one of the most important issues affecting women is the unequal distributin of domestic labour and the effect it has on women's potential productivity, relaxation, mental health, economic power, etc.

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

Heh, cool - good on you!

i wonder if the reason you've been rejected is that the community mods have gotten a bit more edgy about letting supposedly 'pro-feminist' men into the community, given how vichyfrog behaved in that thread . . . . guys who criticise sexist behaviour in others, but who are not willing to examine and deal with their own sexist behaviour, are not, in my opinion, being 'pro-feminist'.

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

Absolutely! Which i why, i suspect, so many men who claim to be supportive of feminism seem to focus on criticising porn - it serves to draw attention away from such issues, so that they don't have to confront and deal with their position of privilege in the domestic sphere . . . .

[whosyerparrot2.livejournal.com]

yeah... it's a pain in the ass to hate people over sexualizing breasts when you're attracted to them like crazy... I guess you would feel that also. I really don't understand why they don't let me join.

[night101owl.livejournal.com]

That wouldn't keep you from being accepted. Ask why you weren't accepted-- if your journal was mostly friends-only, that would probably have been the problem.

More prurience than pro-feminist!

[lart-matt.livejournal.com]

I'd be inclined to agree with you, and maybe go a little further. When I joined the list, I had a good read through the archives, and lurked for a few days to get a feel for things. There seemed to be a strong focus on sexual activism issues, especially with LGBT rights, alternative sexualities, and sexual health.

But quite a quiet list.

And then, all of a sudden, three topics turned the list into a flurry of activity:
- Penis size - does it count?
- Breast enlargement surgery
- Femidoms (female condoms) - what are they like for guys

Instantly, active discussions popped up, people replied to messages very very quickly, and so-on. This all gave me the impression that many people were most interested in sexual freedom purely to increase their own sexual options. Not that this is a bad thing in itself, I mean everyone *should* have the most fulfilling sexual experiences possible, it's a huge part of life. But maybe some are more self-focussed... Almost as if they were on the list to meet those mythical Hot Bi Babes!

I like to think of myself as pro-feminist, but probably more in a pro-equality sense than a we-need-to-compensate-more-to-redress-the-balance sense. I'm white and male, so yes, it's easier for me. But I have a very well-defined sense of how I should be treated and accepted, and I think that that should apply to everybody else as well. My preference is not your preference! My kink is not your kink! These are /good things/ - they help ensure diversity and excitement in life, and lead to new things.

I think openness and acceptance are essential. I am pro-porn - consensually-created erotica designed to excite people is a good thing, and adds to the enjoyment possible in life. Porn that furthers distorted and discriminatory views on sexualities and lifestyles is bad, yes - but porn in the abstract doesn't have to be that.

I think that hiding behind a mask of holier-than-thou "I'm one of the good guys, I think porn is bad", whilst not giving a stuff about real equality and rights is /worse/ than uneducated prejudice - these people have some awareness of what's going on, but just do not seem to care about it fully.

Re: More prurience than pro-feminist!

[lart-matt.livejournal.com]

Whoops! I've just seen how monomaniac that last comment must look! I'll probably follow up later - gotta go to work right now!

Hugs,
Matt

Re: More prurience than pro-feminist!

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

Er . . . . i wasn't talking about that list; i was talking about another one. :-) But you're quite right about people applying to join lists with the idea of hooking up with some Hot Bi Babes - the number of applications to the Pleasure Activism Australia (http://www.pleasureactivism.org/) email list involving men clearly looking for some 'hot action', despite the clear messages on the PAA Web site and Yahoo! group home page stating that PAA is not a personals or contact group, is amazing. And annoying. :-|

Re. the rest of your comment - well said! Although, given the poor attitudes i'm seeing amongst men who identify as 'pro-feminist', i would suggest that you perhaps avoid using that appellation. Or at least startly talking loudly about how many men who use that phrase actually have lots more work to do before it becomes an accurate description. :-)