Name change
2005-08-08 20:11![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flexibeastSo yesterday my parents dropped by for a brief visit. We discussed my various illnesses at length, and my father speculated that maybe the estrogen was making my CFS worse (because of its affects on my musculature). i tried to assure him that, overall, i had actually been feeling better since i've been on estrogen; but i don't think he was convinced.
Just before they left, i asked them about the whole name change issue. Since coming out as trans, i've been using a different first name and surname, except when it comes to legal documents. i chose my new first name on the basis of its gender ambiguity - i feel it accurately reflects my gender identity not being definitely 'male' or 'female'. My surname, however, was chosen not because i actually wanted to change my surname, but because i was concerned that it might put my parents in a difficult situation. My parents live in a community where being gay is Not A Good Thing (to put it lightly), let alone being trans; and my birth surname is not a common one (although nowadays, it's becoming more common). So i didn't want a situation to arise in which someone sees my name, in the form of [New first name] [Original surname] on the net, attached to, for example, an essay on bisexuality and polyamory, and asks my parents, "Hey, is this person any relation to you?" Which would then mean that my parents would be put on the spot, having to explain that this queer/bisexual polyamorous transgendered person is actually one of their children . . . .
Well, it turned out that my father was less upset at the notion of having to deal with such an eventuality and more upset at the notion that i would no longer have his surname. After i assured him that i had no problem with the surname, that i actually wanted to keep it, but just didn't want to create problems for him and my mother, he basically responded with something along the lines of "i'll handle it - you do what you think is best."
So - i'm going to keep my original surname, and change my first and second names. i haven't got a second name yet; but once i've do, i'll start going through the rigmarole of changing my legal name, which will be a bundle of fun, i'm sure. :-P Still, i'm glad i'm finally at this point - it was feeling increasingly 'wrong' to have to put my given names down on documents when i hardly ever use them on a day-to-day basis any more . . . .
Just before they left, i asked them about the whole name change issue. Since coming out as trans, i've been using a different first name and surname, except when it comes to legal documents. i chose my new first name on the basis of its gender ambiguity - i feel it accurately reflects my gender identity not being definitely 'male' or 'female'. My surname, however, was chosen not because i actually wanted to change my surname, but because i was concerned that it might put my parents in a difficult situation. My parents live in a community where being gay is Not A Good Thing (to put it lightly), let alone being trans; and my birth surname is not a common one (although nowadays, it's becoming more common). So i didn't want a situation to arise in which someone sees my name, in the form of [New first name] [Original surname] on the net, attached to, for example, an essay on bisexuality and polyamory, and asks my parents, "Hey, is this person any relation to you?" Which would then mean that my parents would be put on the spot, having to explain that this queer/bisexual polyamorous transgendered person is actually one of their children . . . .
Well, it turned out that my father was less upset at the notion of having to deal with such an eventuality and more upset at the notion that i would no longer have his surname. After i assured him that i had no problem with the surname, that i actually wanted to keep it, but just didn't want to create problems for him and my mother, he basically responded with something along the lines of "i'll handle it - you do what you think is best."
So - i'm going to keep my original surname, and change my first and second names. i haven't got a second name yet; but once i've do, i'll start going through the rigmarole of changing my legal name, which will be a bundle of fun, i'm sure. :-P Still, i'm glad i'm finally at this point - it was feeling increasingly 'wrong' to have to put my given names down on documents when i hardly ever use them on a day-to-day basis any more . . . .
