International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers

[flexibeast]

Today is International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers:

This is a day to call attention to the hate crimes and violence against sex workers all over the globe. Originally thought of by Dr. Annie Sprinkle and started by the Sex Workers Outreach Project USA as a memorial and vigil for the victims of the Green River Killer, it has grown to be a day for strategizing to end these acts as well as remember the victims. Over thirty cities around the world have participated in this event.

As a marginalised group, violence against sex workers is often seen as being less significant - or of no significance - in comparison to violence against other sectors of society. So here's something to ponder on this day: who contributes to the ongoing marginalisation of sex work and sex workers, and why?
 

Comments

[bansheewail.livejournal.com]

I think it's safe to say women are each other's worst enemies, as far as the marginalization aspect. The violence, that's typically men's doing, but the social stigma is 99% female in origin. It goes back to the pre-civilization desperation with which women had to try to maintain the good will of the men they were attached to, because it was far too easy for a man to cast her out, and there were no resources for her to fall back on for survival. Nowadays, the necessity is diminished of course, but the instinctual distrust and pettiness between women is not going away. Women want to marry good husband/father/provider types, and the only problem with that goal is that it leaves many of them committed to men for whom they feel little or no passion or sexual desire. They have sex with their husbands in the beginning, out of affection, or obligation in their role as wife, or to procreate, but then after that early phase, the women who married for the practical reasons instead of desire seem to get bored and start rationing sex as if it were some precious commodity, or just stop it altogether. Their husbands, then, are left to choose a way to handle their sexless predicament. Often there are children in the picture, and a man who fits the "husband/father/provider" type is not likely to even consider leaving once there are offspring of the marriage. A man who has the moral or cultural bias against sex without love will likely ignore his urges as best he can until eventually some flirtation drives him to throw himself into a wild passionate affair that will ruin his family life but (until the heat dies down) make him feel alive again. The men who are able to make the distinction between sex and other intimacy are likelier to accept their wives as good people whom they still love and also accept their own greater interest in sex as something that can't be helped and so should be handled discreetly in a situation that poses no threat to their home life. Those are the men who wind up coming to see courtesans. If women who wanted to marry good men but not fuck them would just accept their husbands' sexual drives as natural, this would clearly be their general preference, as it preserves their marriages, but unfortunately, women have traditionally been taught to abhor sexual feelings in themselves, and so they are largely jealous and resentful about sex--they don't want anyone having fun if they can't. Sex becomes something they do for the benefit of the men they get involved with, and so it is inextricably linked in their minds with commitment. They don't want to have sex, but they suspect anyone who is willing to provide that to their husbands will break up the family, so they are not grateful to prostitutes, as they should be, but rather viciously opposed to their continued presence in society. Women decry the escorts, and men cannot afford to seem out of agreement on that issue, so escorts remain marginalized.

[ms-le-fey.livejournal.com]

I don't think this was the case in pre-civilization. As monogamy and the 'nuclear' family became the enforced norm, that is when said desperation started. When tribes/villages/whathaveyou were extended family and tight knit no one, male or female, had to worry about the loss of a mate meaning the loss of food, shelter and support. In times and civilizations both past and present where polyamory/polyandry/polygamy was the accepted norm then losing one mate out of a possible two, three or more wasn't a crisis. Even today among certain cultures that stress marital monogamy but also stress the importance of extended kin staying near by and being a support system you don't get desperation from women as far as losing a male provider. They will get desperate perhaps from the loss of the husband/father but not provider because someone else can easily fill those shoes.

They don't want to have sex, but they suspect anyone who is willing to provide that to their husbands will break up the family, so they are not grateful to prostitutes, as they should be, but rather viciously opposed to their continued presence in society. Women decry the escorts, and men cannot afford to seem out of agreement on that issue, so escorts remain marginalized.

Damn good point. Damn good. I talk to my mother about this all the time. She loves watching Divorce Court and Oprah and Dr. Phil and those shows are just breeding ground for this very topic. I've finally gotten my mother to understand my position on male adultery where it concerns women's rights. Basically I'd much rather a man have an affair if he just wants to have sex rather than forcing his wife to do a sex act she doesn't want to. I pointed out how the women who complain about that very situation seem to forget that not too long ago marital rape was an oxymoronic (?) phrase.