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flexibeastArgh. This morning i've had the displeasure of coming across a couple of items that are rather disrespectful towards bi people (amongst others)1. i don't identify as 'bisexual', myself - since i don't believe that there are only two genders, and since i'm attracted to more than two of those genders, i identify as 'polysexual' - but i identify far more with the bisexual community than with any other non-heterosexual community. And Bi-Victoria is an inclusive group: it doesn't matter whether you identify as bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, lesbian, gay, etc. etc. - as long as you're bi-friendly, you're welcome. Which is a wonderful approach.
But diversity is not always appreciated. And it's not only religious fundamentalists that have a problem with diversity; there are lesbians and gays who feel threatened by anything other than sexual homogeneity (bad pun intended), as suggested by an article which appeared in a recent issue of MCV.
Now i suspect that this article is actually satire (as suggested by "we've lost our fundamental right to be overbearingly judgmental. Where's the fun in that?"). But even if it is, i know from personal experience that there are lesbians and gays who think like this. Whose personal theory of human behaviour isn't sophisticated enough to comprehend the possibility that a woman may only want ongoing relationships with other women - and may identify as 'lesbian' on that particular basis - but be happy to fuck a guy now and then. Who want the world neatly packaged up into a tiny number of categories, so that they can make a plethora of assumptions and don't have to think. Who demand that they their identity be recognised by the straight world whilst at the same time telling non-monosexuals that we're 'really' homosexual or heterosexual, that we're all 'cheaters' who can't commit to a relationship2, that any difficulties we may face from society at large stem solely from our 'homosexual' behaviours3. Not to mention attitudes such as this.
Many non-monosexuals have challenged such attitudes, and worked to convince the lesbian and gay communities that we are allies, that although the different non-heterosexual communities face different problems, we also face a number of common problems as well. But the above sort of negative attitudes are still widespread; heck, we still haven't seen a move beyond using the phrase "gay and lesbian" to describe all non-heterosexals, nor a move beyond using the lesbian-and-gay-focused term 'homophobia' to describe negative attitudes towards non-heterosexuals - i prefer the term 'queerphobia', myself. (Arguments are made against the word 'queer' - except that it's okay to use it in association purely with young gay men (e.g. "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", and a recent cover of MCV which featured a headline including the word 'queer' above a picture of four young men. :-P )
i have to wonder: to what extent are we non-monosexuals wasting our energy trying to change the attitudes of the lesbian and gay communities, and the gay community in particular? After all, as far as i'm aware, the gay community has yet to effectively deal with the classism, racism, ageism, ableism etc. in its midst - if so many gays struggle to even treat other gays with respect, it's unlikely that they'll be able to show respect to non-heterosexuals outside the gay community. And although, sure, there are many lesbians and gays who do show such respect - there are many on my f-list! - they don't seem to be the dominant force within their respective communities. Will this ever change? And if it does, will the change come from without, within, a combination of the two, or neither?
1. Although on a more positive note, Nepal now legally accepts people identifying as bi-gendered, which is more than i can say about my own country. :-/
2. Sadly, though, it is true that there are many married men who are cheating on their wives with other men, for a variety of reasonable and not-so-reasonable reasons.
3. In August 2000 the NSW Anti-Discrimination Board noted that:
But diversity is not always appreciated. And it's not only religious fundamentalists that have a problem with diversity; there are lesbians and gays who feel threatened by anything other than sexual homogeneity (bad pun intended), as suggested by an article which appeared in a recent issue of MCV.
Now i suspect that this article is actually satire (as suggested by "we've lost our fundamental right to be overbearingly judgmental. Where's the fun in that?"). But even if it is, i know from personal experience that there are lesbians and gays who think like this. Whose personal theory of human behaviour isn't sophisticated enough to comprehend the possibility that a woman may only want ongoing relationships with other women - and may identify as 'lesbian' on that particular basis - but be happy to fuck a guy now and then. Who want the world neatly packaged up into a tiny number of categories, so that they can make a plethora of assumptions and don't have to think. Who demand that they their identity be recognised by the straight world whilst at the same time telling non-monosexuals that we're 'really' homosexual or heterosexual, that we're all 'cheaters' who can't commit to a relationship2, that any difficulties we may face from society at large stem solely from our 'homosexual' behaviours3. Not to mention attitudes such as this.
Many non-monosexuals have challenged such attitudes, and worked to convince the lesbian and gay communities that we are allies, that although the different non-heterosexual communities face different problems, we also face a number of common problems as well. But the above sort of negative attitudes are still widespread; heck, we still haven't seen a move beyond using the phrase "gay and lesbian" to describe all non-heterosexals, nor a move beyond using the lesbian-and-gay-focused term 'homophobia' to describe negative attitudes towards non-heterosexuals - i prefer the term 'queerphobia', myself. (Arguments are made against the word 'queer' - except that it's okay to use it in association purely with young gay men (e.g. "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", and a recent cover of MCV which featured a headline including the word 'queer' above a picture of four young men. :-P )
i have to wonder: to what extent are we non-monosexuals wasting our energy trying to change the attitudes of the lesbian and gay communities, and the gay community in particular? After all, as far as i'm aware, the gay community has yet to effectively deal with the classism, racism, ageism, ableism etc. in its midst - if so many gays struggle to even treat other gays with respect, it's unlikely that they'll be able to show respect to non-heterosexuals outside the gay community. And although, sure, there are many lesbians and gays who do show such respect - there are many on my f-list! - they don't seem to be the dominant force within their respective communities. Will this ever change? And if it does, will the change come from without, within, a combination of the two, or neither?
1. Although on a more positive note, Nepal now legally accepts people identifying as bi-gendered, which is more than i can say about my own country. :-/
2. Sadly, though, it is true that there are many married men who are cheating on their wives with other men, for a variety of reasonable and not-so-reasonable reasons.
3. In August 2000 the NSW Anti-Discrimination Board noted that:
It is the Board’s experience that discrimination and vilification against people on the ground of their bisexuality is a reality and that this treatment has serious consequences for bisexual people in their public life. In many cases the unfair treatment of bisexual people flows directly from their bisexuality and not from presumed homosexuality. Accordingly the ground of homosexuality is ineffective in addressing discrimination and vilification experienced by bisexual people.On a related note, New South Wales' anti-discrimination legislation forbids discrimination on the grounds of actual or assumed homosexuality, and actual or assumed transgenderism - but not actual or assumed bisexuality. :-P
