Orientation

[flexibeast]

i'm bigendered - both female and male - which, in a sense, i regard as being a gender in itself. Since i feel there are more than two genders, i identify as polysexual. But how does being bigendered affect the sexual orientation of people attracted to me, if at all? To give an example: if a woman who identifies as a dyke entered into a sexual and emotional relationship with me, do you feel it still makes sense for her to identify as a dyke?

What do people think?

[ Cross-posted to trans_sex_talk and postqueer. ]
 

Comments

[porcineflight.livejournal.com]

Identity is complicated. It is not strictly to do with the gender of attraction, although it is a significant part. A) She can identify as whatever she likes.

[weibchenwolf.livejournal.com]

This is where I feel we focus too much on gender. If I'm attracted more to women than men, am I Lesbian, or Bisexual? Or something in between?

I know of at least three Lesbians who are married to men, because they found the 'one man' that did something for them. Should they hand in their Lesbian card? Should they instead be Bisexual?

I think just go with whomever/whatever you're attracted to and hang the labels :)

[firinel.livejournal.com]

I don't think it matters. I only even need to vaguely consider her orientation were I interested in her myself. In which case I'd know her well enough to ask her what she identifies as. It may matter to her what other people identify her as for the sake of camaraderie, but I don't particularly work like that past the all-encompassing "queer".

[moominmuppet.livejournal.com]

*nod* This is one of the many reasons I prefer the term "queer" over anything else.

I talk about being bisexual, because it's easy for bisexuality/pansexuality to be completely erased from G/L(bt) contexts, and I think that visibility is important, but the fundamental term does frustrate me, and I consider "queer" much more of a personal identity than "bi" in many ways, because it better meshes with my sense of varying possibilities and potentials and explorations.

[misfit4leaf.livejournal.com]

I saw you in the postqueer community, and after looking at your interests, it would appear that you and I have quite a bit in common. :)