flexibeast

i recently read the essay "Lilith: From Demoness to Dark Goddess", by Aaron Leitch, and found it to be most interesting - not only the author's critique of certain presentations of the history of Lilith and the mythology surrounding her, but also through his own interpretation of the Lilith myth:

[T]here are those few who have refused Samael's marriage to Lilith. Instead, they have invited Lilith to return to the Garden- promising Her that She can play mistress just as much as Adam plays master. They have attempted to join Lilith and Eve, and to return them both to their rightful place within Adam. They strive to become Adam Qadmon- that Supernal Man(kind) who is greater even than the Angels. They strive for the state of Seth.

Of course, few of us have attained that success. Though, perhaps a reconciliation will one day occur. Perhaps in that time a person could be natural, individual and even a little rebellious without being labeled a criminal for doing so. Of course, no utopia will ever exist in full. However, just as the Medieval Qabalist strove to unite God and His Shekinah, so too should we strive to unite Eve and Lilith, and both of them with Adam within ourselves. Only then will we have the power to rebuild the inner Temple, and aid the Shekinah's return to Adonai. Only then will the "children of Seth" have a chance to reign.

Although some aspects of this puzzle me - for example, if we're taking a multi-faceted view of Lilith, why are we not also taking a multi-faceted view of Samael, and instead continuing to suggest that he's not someone we want our inner Lilith to be 'married to? - i found it particularly relevant to me at the moment.

In recent times, i've been doing a fair bit of study related to Qabalah, whose spiritual 'map' really resonates with me. One section of the Tree of Life that i've been meditating on is the 19th path, which connects Geburah (the Sphere of Severity) with Chesed (the Sphere of Mercy). It seems to me that my energies are much more Chesed-oriented than Geburah-oriented at the moment (and perhaps have been for a while, if my CFS is any indication), and that this path is therefore something i need to work on. It's about finding balance; balance between pushing my energies out to the world and limiting such pushing. Between motion and rest.

The reason i say i'm much more Chesed-oriented is that i actually find it very difficult to just stop. i always have to be doing something; otherwise, i tend to feel quite uncomfortable. i have to be studying, or doing housework, or doing IT-related stuff, or something - at least, i try to be, because my CFS severely limits my ability to do those things. Which is interesting, because it's as though having CFS is the only way my body can get me to slow down (let alone stop).

So i need to find balance. And it seems to me that Leitch's interpretation of the Lilith myth is also about finding internal balance: balance between the tamed and the untamed, between restriction and expansion, between Geburah and Chesed. In any event, it's food for thought . . . .