Sex

[flexibeast]

*sigh*

It's really sad how many people promote one form of sexual activity between consenting adults as being inherently superior to another. Some examples:

• The view of some poly people that sex-for-the-sake-of-sex is a bad thing, that there's something inherently wrong with sex itself that can only be mitigated through the addition of romantic love (as a result of which it suddenly becomes a "beautiful thing").


• The view of some bdsmers that they are superior as a result of having "transcended genitally-based sexuality". Because as we all know, genitally-based sexuality is obviously something we should all be striving to avoid. :-P


• The view of some pagans that sex outside of some sort of formal ritual is debased, and that only within ritual does it become sanctified into a sacred act.

The apparent underlying hostility towards sex-in-itself may go some way to explaining why many people in otherwise-progressive sexual communities still regard trash-talking swingers and swinging as acceptable (e.g. using the disparaging phrase "You're just a swinger"). The implication often seems to be that since swingers aren't necessarily looking for love, transcendence, ritual etc. with their sex, they must be soulless people who coldly use others for sex and then discard them, and are thus worthy of disparagement.

i have no problem with people needing romantic love with their sex, or with getting off on non-genital forms of sex, or expressing their sexual through formal ritual, and so on. i do, however, have a problem with people trying to justify their preferred form of sexual expression by leveraging society's sex-negative attitudes to assert the 'superiority' of that form of expression.
 

Comments

[backrow.livejournal.com]

It bugs the fawk outta me that people will say that they are more enlightened because they are poly, or Masters, or slaves, or swingers, or pagan, or whatevathafawk.

What makes someone enlightened IMHO only is being yourself 100 percent, whatever it is that that entails. Having the courage of convictions, and the openmindedness to respect others the way you would wish to be respected.

live and let live, and play nicely together!

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, the old "more enlightened" gig, a more straightforward version of the "more evolved" gig . . . . sounds to me like the only 'evolution' happening is towards Homo hubris. :-P