Genderfuck
2007-03-25 12:20![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flexibeasti've mentioned before in my journal how frustrating it is to be read as a cisgendered male. My facial hair - some of it wanted, most of it unwanted - is obviously a major contributor to that, and probably counters the noticeable pair of fleshy mounds on my chest; but perhaps people tell themselves that i merely have well-developed pecs. (Yeah, having CFS/ME/whateverness will do that to you. :-P )
In any event, my situation has made me think a bit about the notion of 'genderfuck', and more specifically, what can be counted as such. Walking down the street, being read as male by people who consider gender to be sex to be physical appearance - or at least far more so than behaviours and attitudes and ways of thinking - the amount of genderfuck i am engaging in could be rated as little-to-none. It takes time to 'observe' me as a woman - it requires ongoing contact, at least some of it in meatspace. Which is why my closest friends, cisgendered women all, are comfortable regarding me as a woman. But i'm read as a male - contrary to my wishes, but in line with heteronormative society's perception of me. Thus, no genderfuck.
So what to do? Start dressing differently? Shave off my small goatee? But hang on: that doesn't fele like genderfuck to me, involving as it does presenting oneself in ways that utilise gender stereotypes. (Recent research has shown that people's notion of 'attractiveness' tends to be based on whether the observed person has the 'appropriate' physical features for their sex.) And anyway, this is who i am: i'm not trans because i'm trying to make a political point through genderfuck, i'm trans because that's who i am, because i'm being me. And i feel that trying to change myself in order to ensure that i'm read as a genderfucker would be misplaced if it basically reinforces heteronormative associations between gender and types of presentation.
i guess this all comes back to the style-versus-substance issue. i'm not physically attractive as a male, nor as a tranny, nor as a female: one certainly doesn't get points for being seen with me (probably the opposite, in fact). But in the end, i'd rather be regarded as unattractive and lacking in style, but helpful, caring and passionate about my ideals nonetheless, than gorgeous and stylish and a great fuck, but full of myself and more interested in what the world can do for me than what i can do for the world. That's a choice i made a long time ago.
In any event, my situation has made me think a bit about the notion of 'genderfuck', and more specifically, what can be counted as such. Walking down the street, being read as male by people who consider gender to be sex to be physical appearance - or at least far more so than behaviours and attitudes and ways of thinking - the amount of genderfuck i am engaging in could be rated as little-to-none. It takes time to 'observe' me as a woman - it requires ongoing contact, at least some of it in meatspace. Which is why my closest friends, cisgendered women all, are comfortable regarding me as a woman. But i'm read as a male - contrary to my wishes, but in line with heteronormative society's perception of me. Thus, no genderfuck.
So what to do? Start dressing differently? Shave off my small goatee? But hang on: that doesn't fele like genderfuck to me, involving as it does presenting oneself in ways that utilise gender stereotypes. (Recent research has shown that people's notion of 'attractiveness' tends to be based on whether the observed person has the 'appropriate' physical features for their sex.) And anyway, this is who i am: i'm not trans because i'm trying to make a political point through genderfuck, i'm trans because that's who i am, because i'm being me. And i feel that trying to change myself in order to ensure that i'm read as a genderfucker would be misplaced if it basically reinforces heteronormative associations between gender and types of presentation.
i guess this all comes back to the style-versus-substance issue. i'm not physically attractive as a male, nor as a tranny, nor as a female: one certainly doesn't get points for being seen with me (probably the opposite, in fact). But in the end, i'd rather be regarded as unattractive and lacking in style, but helpful, caring and passionate about my ideals nonetheless, than gorgeous and stylish and a great fuck, but full of myself and more interested in what the world can do for me than what i can do for the world. That's a choice i made a long time ago.
ramble ramble ramble.
Date: 2007-03-25 03:48 (UTC)2) I know society is shit, hell I get read as an unattractive women for having hips, god damn hips, and there isn't much which is more oestrogen based that that.
I see genderfucking as distinct from being trans, cis people can gender fuck, it is about the choice to make it clear to people that you sit outside of there view of gender, that they are going to have to re-consider there axioms if they want to deal with you, I hate wearing dresses, I even hated it when I was trying really really hard to be a girl, unless I can see my self as being in drag, and I think that might be helpful to you, if you wish to make a statement about your gender, as distinct from living your gender to think about it as an act, a wearable fuck you to the social view of gender.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-26 03:10 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-26 03:36 (UTC)This bizzo about you being unattractive has to stop - otherwise you are insulting my taste, I am attracted to people for inside and outside elements, and I think and experience you as absolutely gorrrrgeous inside, /and/ out!
Lots of squishy love, and kisses,
Sacred Harlot XxX.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-26 07:14 (UTC)Re: ramble ramble ramble.
Date: 2007-03-26 07:18 (UTC)*blush* Why thank you!
Crikey. Personally, i think you're very attractive, whatever gender you may be. :-)
Ah, okay, i see.
Hmm, interesting point! i'll have to ponder that . . . .
no subject
Date: 2007-03-26 16:18 (UTC)For what it's worth, I think a lot of trans folks have concerns about their attractiveness (which would make sense given that recent research), and from the looks of it you've been outvoted :) Cliched as it sounds, it's what's inside that counts.
Good squishy insi— intelligence, humor, curiosity, passion; these are the things that keep people around and keep them interesting. (Not their internal organs. (Usually.))no subject
Date: 2007-03-27 04:39 (UTC)*nod* A number of people have said that to me, and i find it somewhat comforting, as i reveal far more of myself through what i write online than through my physical appearance.
*nod*
Heh, true; but given the standards of attractiveness i observe all the time (not only in the media, but also in various communities), the notion that i'm at all 'attractive' is one i find difficult to accept.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-27 07:01 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-27 21:49 (UTC)*nod* I definitely get that. Aside from avoiding stuff that feels like drag to me (like dresses, most of the time), I don't really bother to try to force the world to read my gender differently, although I definitely identify as genderqueer, and anyone who talks to me for any length of time knows that. It feels too artificial to me to try to react in that way. For example, I have long hair that I wear in a ponytail pretty much all the time. On me, that gets gendered as a reinforcement of girl/woman/feminine. But I refuse to cut it, because if I were a guy, I'd be a long-haired pony-tail-wearing guy, too. Therefore, I've decided the issue is in other people's perceptions, and I'm justified in ignoring it when I can.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-29 10:28 (UTC)