Genderfuck
2007-03-25 12:20![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flexibeasti've mentioned before in my journal how frustrating it is to be read as a cisgendered male. My facial hair - some of it wanted, most of it unwanted - is obviously a major contributor to that, and probably counters the noticeable pair of fleshy mounds on my chest; but perhaps people tell themselves that i merely have well-developed pecs. (Yeah, having CFS/ME/whateverness will do that to you. :-P )
In any event, my situation has made me think a bit about the notion of 'genderfuck', and more specifically, what can be counted as such. Walking down the street, being read as male by people who consider gender to be sex to be physical appearance - or at least far more so than behaviours and attitudes and ways of thinking - the amount of genderfuck i am engaging in could be rated as little-to-none. It takes time to 'observe' me as a woman - it requires ongoing contact, at least some of it in meatspace. Which is why my closest friends, cisgendered women all, are comfortable regarding me as a woman. But i'm read as a male - contrary to my wishes, but in line with heteronormative society's perception of me. Thus, no genderfuck.
So what to do? Start dressing differently? Shave off my small goatee? But hang on: that doesn't fele like genderfuck to me, involving as it does presenting oneself in ways that utilise gender stereotypes. (Recent research has shown that people's notion of 'attractiveness' tends to be based on whether the observed person has the 'appropriate' physical features for their sex.) And anyway, this is who i am: i'm not trans because i'm trying to make a political point through genderfuck, i'm trans because that's who i am, because i'm being me. And i feel that trying to change myself in order to ensure that i'm read as a genderfucker would be misplaced if it basically reinforces heteronormative associations between gender and types of presentation.
i guess this all comes back to the style-versus-substance issue. i'm not physically attractive as a male, nor as a tranny, nor as a female: one certainly doesn't get points for being seen with me (probably the opposite, in fact). But in the end, i'd rather be regarded as unattractive and lacking in style, but helpful, caring and passionate about my ideals nonetheless, than gorgeous and stylish and a great fuck, but full of myself and more interested in what the world can do for me than what i can do for the world. That's a choice i made a long time ago.
In any event, my situation has made me think a bit about the notion of 'genderfuck', and more specifically, what can be counted as such. Walking down the street, being read as male by people who consider gender to be sex to be physical appearance - or at least far more so than behaviours and attitudes and ways of thinking - the amount of genderfuck i am engaging in could be rated as little-to-none. It takes time to 'observe' me as a woman - it requires ongoing contact, at least some of it in meatspace. Which is why my closest friends, cisgendered women all, are comfortable regarding me as a woman. But i'm read as a male - contrary to my wishes, but in line with heteronormative society's perception of me. Thus, no genderfuck.
So what to do? Start dressing differently? Shave off my small goatee? But hang on: that doesn't fele like genderfuck to me, involving as it does presenting oneself in ways that utilise gender stereotypes. (Recent research has shown that people's notion of 'attractiveness' tends to be based on whether the observed person has the 'appropriate' physical features for their sex.) And anyway, this is who i am: i'm not trans because i'm trying to make a political point through genderfuck, i'm trans because that's who i am, because i'm being me. And i feel that trying to change myself in order to ensure that i'm read as a genderfucker would be misplaced if it basically reinforces heteronormative associations between gender and types of presentation.
i guess this all comes back to the style-versus-substance issue. i'm not physically attractive as a male, nor as a tranny, nor as a female: one certainly doesn't get points for being seen with me (probably the opposite, in fact). But in the end, i'd rather be regarded as unattractive and lacking in style, but helpful, caring and passionate about my ideals nonetheless, than gorgeous and stylish and a great fuck, but full of myself and more interested in what the world can do for me than what i can do for the world. That's a choice i made a long time ago.
Re: ramble ramble ramble.
Date: 2007-03-26 07:18 (UTC)*blush* Why thank you!
Crikey. Personally, i think you're very attractive, whatever gender you may be. :-)
Ah, okay, i see.
Hmm, interesting point! i'll have to ponder that . . . .