Appearances

[flexibeast]

i have to say something which is probably un-PC for a trans person to say:

i don't enjoy dressing up. i don't find it 'fun'. When i have to do it, it's usually more a necessary evil than anything else.

In fact, i resent the very notion that i have to 'pass' by looking a certain way in order to 'prove' i'm a woman. i'm a woman regardless of what i wear or how i do my hair. i'm a woman regardless of how i walk or sit. i'm a woman regardless of the fact that i have a cock that i love and am planning to keep, thank you very much. Isn't a woman more than her genitals?

Moreover, i'm trans regardless of the above. i'm trans regardless of the fact that i'm not an extrovert or ambivert but an introvert. (Note to those who think 'introverted' is synonymous with 'shy': you're wrong. Please read the preceding link to learn what introversion actually involves.) i'm trans regardless of whether i go to extrovert-oriented trans social events. And i'm trans regardless of what you think about me being bi-gendered, regardless of whether you think i'm "really" a cis male hiding behind cis privilege, or whether you think i'm merely reinforcing the gender dichotomy, or whether you think i'm "not radical enough".

A bi-gendered trans woman is who i am. Not looking the 'right' way or not attending the 'right' events or not having the 'right' identity doesn't change that.

[ Cross-posted to tranny_rage ]
 

Comments

[astarrymist.livejournal.com]

What a great post! You are such a beautiful person =)

Thanks for the introversion link. I'd seen a site somewhere about"how to care for your introvert" or something like that, which dispelled many of the myths about us introverts. (Um, I'm not shy… Uh, I just don't talk.) If I can find the link again, I'll send it to you.

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

What a great post! You are such a beautiful person =)

Aww, thanks! *blush*

'd seen a site somewhere about"how to care for your introvert" or something like that, which dispelled many of the myths about us introverts. (Um, I'm not shy… Uh, I just don't talk.) If I can find the link again, I'll send it to you.

i think i've read it - was it this (http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch)?

[astarrymist.livejournal.com]

That was the one! I couldn't help but love how that was written. Despite society generally appreciating extroverts more, I actually really enjoy being an introvert. To me, needing people so much is so inconceivable that I wouldn't want that for myself. What would I do without time to my self each day? Is it incredibly selfish of me to make sure I get it? =)

Thanks for the link I meant to provide for you LOL

[ruth-lawrence.livejournal.com]

Good on you!

Plenty of us genetic females feel the same way about being a woman ie: "any definition of 'woman' that doesn't include me is wrong"!

I have to admit I don't really understand why some transwomen want to be 'girly' women, but I am not a transperson or a girly woman.

Then again, to me it's the ID that counts, not clothing or mannerisms.

:::shrug:::

says the noisy, opinionated introvert

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

Good on you!

Thanks. :-)

Plenty of us genetic females feel the same way about being a woman ie: "any definition of 'woman' that doesn't include me is wrong"!

Yes indeed. In my experience, the more rigidly we try to define it, the slipperier (ack, is that even a word?) it gets.

I have to admit I don't really understand why some transwomen want to be 'girly' women

Well, i strongly suspect at least part of it is due to the "Standards of Care", which basically force a person to fit stereotypical definitions of 'femininity' in order to 'prove' that one is a woman and therefore actually in medical need of hormone therapy and/or SRS. Then, too, there's society's expectations about how a woman 'should' look and/or behave (c.f. all the 'jokes' about Margaret Thatcher and Ann Coulter 'really' being men). i wonder if there's been any research into trans women's feelings on this issue?

says the noisy, opinionated introvert

Heh. i get the impression that many introverts are noisily opinionated - it's just that, unlike many extroverts, we are noisily opinionated on things that actually matter. ;-)

[ruth-lawrence.livejournal.com]

Well, i strongly suspect at least part of it is due to the "Standards of Care", which basically force a person to fit stereotypical definitions of 'femininity' in order to 'prove' that one is a woman and therefore actually in medical need of hormone therapy and/or SRS.

Oh indeed...but past any surgery having been done it need only be a Role, one that many, many women play, especially for conservatives with power-over, like doctors.

Women drop much of their girly behaviour when there are no men around.
Guys often don't know this...and possibly some transwomen don't either, when newly transitioning.

Then, too, there's society's expectations about how a woman 'should' look and/or behave (c.f. all the 'jokes' about Margaret Thatcher and Ann Coulter 'really' being men). i wonder if there's been any research into trans women's feelings on this issue?

I don't know.

I have always lived as female, and always resented sexist assumptions, and am not unusual in that.

I wonder if a sub-section of transwomen believe the stereotypes? (A subsection of genetic women do, horrifyingly).

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

Women drop much of their girly behaviour when there are no men around.

*nod* Good point.

I wonder if a sub-section of transwomen believe the stereotypes? (A subsection of genetic women do, horrifyingly).

Well, i imagine that there is such a sub-section, since we trans women are at least as diverse as cis women are . . . . although i must admit, i still get caught assuming that trans women are more likely to have feminist consciousness than the average cis woman. Silly me. :-|

On a related note, i've just learnt - and you may well already know this - that apparently a number of (male) gatekeepers have assessed whether the trans women in their 'care' 'pass' or not by whether or not they find those women sexually desirable! Which is not only obviously outrageous, but also (i suspect) more likely than not to twist the psychology of those women in terms of how they feel they 'should' look and behave.

[ruth-lawrence.livejournal.com]

Oh, ugh.

But shallow men treat cis-gendered women according to how they think they will look, too.

Ugly, ugly.

There's something to be said for queer sexual separatism (and other things said against, I guess).