Interconnections
2008-06-01 17:28![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flexibeastFor me, sexuality, spirituality and politics are very much connected to each other.
Although, the word 'connected' to me indicates a degree of separation from each other that i don't experience within myself: 'tightly intertwined' is probably a more accurate description (albeit perhaps more difficult to depict with ASCII art :-) ).
As far as i can tell, my experience of existence in this regard is not a common one. Many people seem to experience the world in which two of the three things are intertwined, but the other one is at best not really connected to the other two, or at worst is regarded an active pest or problem. And i must say, i find such separations difficult to comprehend; which is probably why i'm particularly affected when people who at best regard A and B as intertwined accuse me of 'really' being interested in C, which is obviously something else entirely. A classic example of this is when i'm accused of being "just / really a swinger"1 by people from a variety of communities (including the pagan community, the bdsm community, the nudist community, etc.). Such claims often carry a subtext that i'm sullying the purity of the community, and essentially behaving unethically, by using the theme of the community as an 'excuse' to engage in certain sexual behaviours. In such instances, i often suspect that a certain amount of projection is involved: the claimants don't feel that sexual pleasure is a legitimate pursuit in its own right, feel guilty for nevertheless pursuing it, and thus feel uncomfortable about people such as myself who actually don't need an excuse to pursue it. At the same time, spirituality and politics are so closely intertwined for me that sexual expression inherently involves spiritual and political actions. Thus, expecting me to act as though that's not the case is for me akin to asking me to "just be straight" or "just be male".
Nevertheless, that expectation is one that i encounter all the time, in all sorts of communities. It's sad. And, i feel, yet another way in which people focus on separation and difference at the expense of recognising and experiencing connection and similarity.
1. i'm planning to critique the "X is just / really a swinger" meme, which is so unfortunately widespread in many otherwise progressive communities, in a future post.
Sexuality -------------------- Spirituality
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Politics
Although, the word 'connected' to me indicates a degree of separation from each other that i don't experience within myself: 'tightly intertwined' is probably a more accurate description (albeit perhaps more difficult to depict with ASCII art :-) ).
As far as i can tell, my experience of existence in this regard is not a common one. Many people seem to experience the world in which two of the three things are intertwined, but the other one is at best not really connected to the other two, or at worst is regarded an active pest or problem. And i must say, i find such separations difficult to comprehend; which is probably why i'm particularly affected when people who at best regard A and B as intertwined accuse me of 'really' being interested in C, which is obviously something else entirely. A classic example of this is when i'm accused of being "just / really a swinger"1 by people from a variety of communities (including the pagan community, the bdsm community, the nudist community, etc.). Such claims often carry a subtext that i'm sullying the purity of the community, and essentially behaving unethically, by using the theme of the community as an 'excuse' to engage in certain sexual behaviours. In such instances, i often suspect that a certain amount of projection is involved: the claimants don't feel that sexual pleasure is a legitimate pursuit in its own right, feel guilty for nevertheless pursuing it, and thus feel uncomfortable about people such as myself who actually don't need an excuse to pursue it. At the same time, spirituality and politics are so closely intertwined for me that sexual expression inherently involves spiritual and political actions. Thus, expecting me to act as though that's not the case is for me akin to asking me to "just be straight" or "just be male".
Nevertheless, that expectation is one that i encounter all the time, in all sorts of communities. It's sad. And, i feel, yet another way in which people focus on separation and difference at the expense of recognising and experiencing connection and similarity.
1. i'm planning to critique the "X is just / really a swinger" meme, which is so unfortunately widespread in many otherwise progressive communities, in a future post.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-02 05:22 (UTC)And, yep, sex and sexuality is always the bit that gets looked down on - either all of it is "too frivolous", or anything but that community's particular way of being Very Serious about sex/uality is "too frivolous". Your analysis of the projection sounds pretty accurate to me, probably not the only factor, or even a constant one, but all too common.
Sunflower
no subject
Date: 2008-06-04 19:36 (UTC)Stop acting like the whole world is out to label and stereotype you for the way you are. If you want to put your dick in everything that moves, fine. But stop whining about how other whiny groups don't accept your whiny choices.
Enjoy your herpes.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-04 23:42 (UTC)Constructive debate is welcome on my LJ. Ad hominem attacks and trolling are not. Welcome to banland!