. . .

[flexibeast]

i'm crying right now. Crying because i'm tired of myself and other people being told - such as in this thread in pornpositivefem - that we should just ignore harrassers, and 'just deal with it'. Despite the fact that people such as myself have to face it everywhere we go - not just online, but offline. Despite the fact that we've often had to 'just deal with it' for many years. Despite the fact that such constant harrassment puts a great deal of psychological strain on us.

And almost no-one seems to care.

i've left the pornpositivefem community. That so many people there are so willing to immediately place a share of blame on the victim means that it's a community that i can no longer be part of.

i'm so tired, and upset: tired and upset because i think it's outrageous that it so often seems to be myself, and other victims of harrassment, who feel forced to keep away from a group, rather than the harrassers themselves; and i'm also tired and upset as a result of people constantly telling me how i 'should' feel about a particular situation.

Empathy Deficit Disorder is everywhere, and it's crushing me.

Update, 12:15pm

i've passed through the crying stage now, and have returned to the rage stage: i've recently posted an rant on the feminist_rage community LJ about all this; and i've also posted an entry on the pleasureact community LJ about harrassment and the LJ Terms of Service.

Comments

[naiyah.livejournal.com]

:( it's draining and people suck. I think my idea of just calling them poo poo faces and leaving it at that would have probably been the smartest one; there's no well thought out argument in response to it.

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

Indeed there's not; but i'm currently finding it very difficult to cope with the number of people who just don't give a hoot about how one person's behaviour can affect another person. :-(

[ruth-lawrence.livejournal.com]

Put contraceptives in their chocky milk! No more of them.

To be serious, yeah, I've seen a lot of this on-line. I'm poop on a newgroup from fighting them over it. They do not own the effect of their words on others (but scream like steam whistles when their bustles are snagged).

A lot of these people are clueless and young, trying to seem tough, others are showing off, some are cowards joining in dogpiles, plenty are just plain deficient in empathy.

I've been so upset I've lain awake all night except when I was up and barfing iover this exact sort of thing.

So I have left that community too, in support of velitu & you guys.

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

*laugh* re. contraceptives in their chocky milk. :-)

Sorry to hear about your upsetedness. :-( *hugs*

Finally, thanks so much for your show of support - it really means a lot to me. :-) *more hugs!*

[ruth-lawrence.livejournal.com]

*enjoys hugs*

we've got pleasureact anyway, don't we?

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

Indeed we do. :-) And rest assured, anyone who posts comments blaming the victim in the pleasureact community will very rapidly be put on moderation, at the very least.

[ruth-lawrence.livejournal.com]

Good!

I tend to visit imaginary stripes upon the persons of snotty individuals.

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

*laugh* :-D

[ruth-lawrence.livejournal.com]

problem is, they might secretly wish for same...