. . .

[flexibeast]

i'm crying right now. Crying because i'm tired of myself and other people being told - such as in this thread in pornpositivefem - that we should just ignore harrassers, and 'just deal with it'. Despite the fact that people such as myself have to face it everywhere we go - not just online, but offline. Despite the fact that we've often had to 'just deal with it' for many years. Despite the fact that such constant harrassment puts a great deal of psychological strain on us.

And almost no-one seems to care.

i've left the pornpositivefem community. That so many people there are so willing to immediately place a share of blame on the victim means that it's a community that i can no longer be part of.

i'm so tired, and upset: tired and upset because i think it's outrageous that it so often seems to be myself, and other victims of harrassment, who feel forced to keep away from a group, rather than the harrassers themselves; and i'm also tired and upset as a result of people constantly telling me how i 'should' feel about a particular situation.

Empathy Deficit Disorder is everywhere, and it's crushing me.

Update, 12:15pm

i've passed through the crying stage now, and have returned to the rage stage: i've recently posted an rant on the feminist_rage community LJ about all this; and i've also posted an entry on the pleasureact community LJ about harrassment and the LJ Terms of Service.

Comments

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

Hmmm . . . . i think the issue for me is that, although i don't respect the people making these comments (how on earth can i respect people who spend lines and lines on blaming the victim and yet hardly mention the perpetrator at all???), i know that these people make up a significant proportion of the population; and so i feel compelled to challenge their ideology. i don't know - i'm going to have to work out a way of managing all this sort of stuff, because it wipes me out, and reduces my capacity to work directly on building the pleasure activist community (rather than indirectly, by opposing people who explictly or implicity support the repression of women's sexuality by blaming the victims of sexual violence). i'm feeling rather overwhelmed by everything right now.

[velitu.livejournal.com]

yeah i know waht you mean. i can never separate one idiot thinking and speaking that way from the overall societal pattern either. i guess waht i was saying was that i did stand up to them. i said my bit and made them look stoopid to any thinking individual and then let it go. bannished them so they don't have the power to keep sucking me dry after the event. it does drain me to stand up to them but i'll be damned if i'll let them keep doing it later! Ridukulus! *poof of smoke*

self mental and emotional protection.

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

*nod* Yes, you took a good approach to it all . . . . i guess all i can do is to keep working on adopting that approach myself.