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flexibeastSo. i'm 'merely' a transvestite, because i'm not transsexual? How does that work? How many born-male 'transvestites' go on female hormones, grow breasts, and don't get turned on when they wear clothing associated with the 'opposite' gender? How many born-male 'transvestites' feel that their inner self is both 'male' and 'female', but more 'female' than 'male' - so much so that they feel, in general, that they much more in common with women than with men? How many born-male 'transvestites' have been seen by a qualified psychiatrist who seems to have accepted that they are not 'merely' a transvestite?
Why is it so important to you to try to invalidate my identity? Do you think that me identifying as transgendered somehow invalidates your trans identity? If so, how? And on what grounds can you demand that other people accept your trans identity whilst at the same time implying that i don't have the right to demand the same thing? Especially from other trans people, who know what it's like to have people say "You're not really A; you're really B".
i go to great lengths to ensure that non-trans people are taught about the various identities that exist within the trans communities. i explain how being a transvestite is not the same as being transsexual. i explain how i'm not transsexual, even though i am transgendered. i explain how trans and intersex are not the same thing, how 'she-male' is a porn industry invention, and how the word 'hermaphrodite' is a word that's generally not used. i explain how the trans communities are very diverse, and that i should not at all be taken as representative of those communities.
i have to constantly deal with the difficulties involved in being a transgendered person in a dichotomously gendered society. When i am presented with a question that asks me whether i'm male or female, i feel stuck. Being forced to make a choice, i would prefer to check 'female', but that's probably legally incorrect, so i grit my teeth and check 'male' - and it hurts. When someone addresses me as 'Sir', it hurts. When people constantly use male pronouns to refer to me, even after they have been asked to use female pronouns, it hurts. When i'm worried for my personal safety when i go out dressed in 'women's' clothing, it hurts.
But despite all that, what hurts most is watching trans people stab each other in the back, whether i'm the one being stabbed or not. We share a common problem: the problem of living in a dichotomously gendered society which places a strong emphasis on biological determinism and strict rules regarding 'appropriate' gender behaviour. We challenge that. Whether we're transvestites, transsexuals, transgendered, intersex, we challenge that. We need to be supporting each other as we all face these challenges. We need to act in solidarity with one another - to publicly talk about our diversity, whilst at the same time validating each other's identities.
Because if we can't even manage to do that, how can we expect non-trans or -intersex people to do the same? In other words, if we don't, who will?
Why is it so important to you to try to invalidate my identity? Do you think that me identifying as transgendered somehow invalidates your trans identity? If so, how? And on what grounds can you demand that other people accept your trans identity whilst at the same time implying that i don't have the right to demand the same thing? Especially from other trans people, who know what it's like to have people say "You're not really A; you're really B".
i go to great lengths to ensure that non-trans people are taught about the various identities that exist within the trans communities. i explain how being a transvestite is not the same as being transsexual. i explain how i'm not transsexual, even though i am transgendered. i explain how trans and intersex are not the same thing, how 'she-male' is a porn industry invention, and how the word 'hermaphrodite' is a word that's generally not used. i explain how the trans communities are very diverse, and that i should not at all be taken as representative of those communities.
i have to constantly deal with the difficulties involved in being a transgendered person in a dichotomously gendered society. When i am presented with a question that asks me whether i'm male or female, i feel stuck. Being forced to make a choice, i would prefer to check 'female', but that's probably legally incorrect, so i grit my teeth and check 'male' - and it hurts. When someone addresses me as 'Sir', it hurts. When people constantly use male pronouns to refer to me, even after they have been asked to use female pronouns, it hurts. When i'm worried for my personal safety when i go out dressed in 'women's' clothing, it hurts.
But despite all that, what hurts most is watching trans people stab each other in the back, whether i'm the one being stabbed or not. We share a common problem: the problem of living in a dichotomously gendered society which places a strong emphasis on biological determinism and strict rules regarding 'appropriate' gender behaviour. We challenge that. Whether we're transvestites, transsexuals, transgendered, intersex, we challenge that. We need to be supporting each other as we all face these challenges. We need to act in solidarity with one another - to publicly talk about our diversity, whilst at the same time validating each other's identities.
Because if we can't even manage to do that, how can we expect non-trans or -intersex people to do the same? In other words, if we don't, who will?
no subject
Date: 2005-06-10 08:09 (UTC)When will people realise that there's more to sexuality that kind of compartmentalised thinking? It's far too complex for that kind of put-them-all-in-little-boxes attitude. People are individuals and it's in the nature of individuals not to be identical to anyone else. The compartments don't actually exist in reality. They're just a construct to help people cope. They can be changed at any time and the world won't end.
And it's really sad that it's your own community that seems to be encouraging that kind of thought.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-10 13:28 (UTC)i very much agree with you re. the compartments. i think the reason so many trans people end up behaving this way is that there are immense pressures on us to 'prove' that we are 'really' the gender(s) we believe ourselves to be. So i think many trans people then try to fit gender stereotypes as closely as possible, to minimise their deviation from the so-called 'norms', in an effort to demonstrate that society should them as being a member of the sex they feel themselves to be. If this is so, i can imagine that such trans people would feel compelled to defend those norms, and to have a go at those of us who are transgressing those norms. Because if we transgressors call ourselves trans, then maybe the general public will think that all trans people are a threat to gender norms - which in turn will increase society's hostility towards all trans people, even the ones that are willing to conform in order to reach their goal of congruence of mind and body.
If that's so, then it's quite similar behaviour to that of queer assimilationists, who want all queers to conform to heteronormative white middle-class values so as to reduce the level of threat we are perceived as posing to the general public, and to therefore reduce the level of hostility towards us. Even if i understand the logic, i certainly don't agree with it. But that's another story. :-)