Another day . . . .

[flexibeast]

another person telling me that i'm 'sick' and 'really' a guy 'pretending' to be a woman.

This time it came from someone chatting with naked_wrat on Yahoo, who posted a lightly edited transcript of the conversation to the queer_rage and feminist_rage communities.

So often, it comes back to the fact that i was born with visible characteristics of a human male, and that i'm obviously going against the grain, since i've only started growing 'female' breasts since i started taking hormones. However:

• This argument assumes that one's 'sex' is decided by one's visible physical characteristics, rather than by one's internal physical characteristics (e.g. one's brain, the functioning of one's endocrine system);


• Following on from that, my mental and physical health has actually improved noticeably since i started taking the hormones. Although i obviously can't rule out a placebo effect, i also can't rule out the possibility that my body is responding well to an influx of hormones that it was in fact deficient in;


• i spent years trying to 'feel' simply male. It never worked. Feeling both male and female, however, feels very 'right' - i don't have to make an effort to 'feel' that way. And since i've started doing so, i've felt far more comfortable within myself.

What gets me the most, however, is how people like this Yahoo!-based jerk advocate genital mutilation to force someone to look either 'male' or 'female', and yet have the nerve to claim that my claim of transgenderism means that i'm the sick one!
 

Comments

[cheshire-bitten.livejournal.com]

I makes me angry that for you to just live your life that there will be a barrage of idiots in the way.

I also find it kind of amusing that he doesn't appear to be homophobic, it seems sad that these people can accept gays as long as the stick to strict gender binaries.

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

Heh, well, of course, many lesbians and gays find blurring of 'boundaries' unacceptable too. :-/

Re. "just to live your life" - well, from my perspective, that's part and parcel of being a hierodule of Baphomet: people find me confronting, even when i'm just being. Since i've come to accept that, people's response to me doesn't get me as worked up as it used to - but clearly, there are still times when it does. i'm working on it. :-)

[cheshire-bitten.livejournal.com]

I am glad that you are working on it, I have found that with my gender idenity the only useful thing I can do is accecpt myself and wait for other people to come around.

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

*nod*

So if i may ask, how do you identify, gender-wise, if at all?

[cheshire-bitten.livejournal.com]

Yes you can ask but as I am sure you understand it isn’t a simple question for me to answer and it is one which I have become hesitant to answer because of some fairly difference phobic* remarks I have received. I am female born and I don’t consider myself transgendered however at the same time I don’t really feel female and I have struggled with the for a number of years, however unlike many people who I have meet who have found comfort and self affirmation in gender/sex change I have come to find peace with the androgynus tending male feeling I have and my biological body as different and not contradictory elements of my persona. As for my dress I move between hyper feminine dress, corsets and long skirts, and very masculine dress in the form of business suits or army pants and black shirts as the mood takes me. I am amused by how male/butch my body language stays even in hyper feminine weeks.

*I love making up my own words.

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

'Differencephobic' - a good word. i like it. :-)

Thanks for sharing all that with me . . . . it sounds like we've arrived at similar destinations in our exploration of our gender identities. Except i think you've probably got far more dress sense than i do. :-)

[cheshire-bitten.livejournal.com]

I should also say that one day I would like to meet you too, I can't just leave the flattery to others now can I.

[flexibeast.livejournal.com]

i assure you the feeling is most definitely mutual. :-)

[cheshire-bitten.livejournal.com]

*blush*