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flexibeast"Polys need to be from Mars" - because the length of the Martian day is longer than the length of the Terran day. Not by much: a Mars day is approximately 24 hours and 40 minutes long. But maybe even having a little extra time each day would allow those of us with multiple partners to spend more time with them. :-)
One of the (many) interesting things i've encountered through being poly was that, freed from constraints on how many partners i could have, i became rather over-optimistic about how many partners i could sensibly have in my life. i already have two wonderful life partners, who i both consider to be 'primaries'. And yet i still meet people that i am strongly attracted to, that i could imagine myself falling in love with; and the relationship arrangements that my partners and i have are such that i am free to pursue relationships with such people. But i am very much in love with both my current partners, and i want to devote time and energy to them and to the relationships i have with them. So i have to be careful that any putative relationships i might have in the future don't significantly impact on those i already have and enjoy being a part of.
In practical terms, that means that another primary relationship is most definitely out of the question. A secondary relationship is certainly possible, but i wouldn't enter into it lightly, given the commitments i already have: i wouldn't want to put myself, my current partners and my new partner in a situation where any one or more of us felt that they were being neglected.
All this has in turn meant accepting realities of time and resources. Although i can be in love with more than one person at a time, being in a relationship with more than one person at a time requires me to commit time and resources to all those relationships - time and resources which are, unfortunately, very noticeably finite, especially given my health issues. Because i believe that not accepting those realities would be unfair on all those involved, and might eventually result in one or more people getting hurt - and i have no desire to be part of either scenario.
One of the (many) interesting things i've encountered through being poly was that, freed from constraints on how many partners i could have, i became rather over-optimistic about how many partners i could sensibly have in my life. i already have two wonderful life partners, who i both consider to be 'primaries'. And yet i still meet people that i am strongly attracted to, that i could imagine myself falling in love with; and the relationship arrangements that my partners and i have are such that i am free to pursue relationships with such people. But i am very much in love with both my current partners, and i want to devote time and energy to them and to the relationships i have with them. So i have to be careful that any putative relationships i might have in the future don't significantly impact on those i already have and enjoy being a part of.
In practical terms, that means that another primary relationship is most definitely out of the question. A secondary relationship is certainly possible, but i wouldn't enter into it lightly, given the commitments i already have: i wouldn't want to put myself, my current partners and my new partner in a situation where any one or more of us felt that they were being neglected.
All this has in turn meant accepting realities of time and resources. Although i can be in love with more than one person at a time, being in a relationship with more than one person at a time requires me to commit time and resources to all those relationships - time and resources which are, unfortunately, very noticeably finite, especially given my health issues. Because i believe that not accepting those realities would be unfair on all those involved, and might eventually result in one or more people getting hurt - and i have no desire to be part of either scenario.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-20 04:33 (UTC)If i may ask, how's the business going?