Assumptions
2007-03-29 19:41![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flexibeastA friend of mine had an interesting experience recently.
A young female couple were "talking dirty" in her presence. After a while, one member of the couple made a comment along the lines of "Oops, this might be a bit much for [my friend]". My friend got the impression that this comment came about because she looks 'mainstream' due to her manner of dress and lack of tattoos and/or piercings).
Then, later on, when one member of the couple in question was describing some performance art piece, my friend, feeling very tired, tried to keep herself upright by crossing her arms across her chest. "Sorry, is this too confrontational for you?" she was asked.
As a former sex worker, this woman has had sex with literally thousands of guys. Prior to becoming a sex worker, she regularly participated in sex parties, orgies and gang bangs. She's assisted female victims of male abuse, been a union organiser, and organised and/or participated in a plethora of public political events (for IWD, Reclaim the Night, independence for East Timor, queer rights, workers' rights, etc. etc.)
Unsurprisingly, therefore, she's not easily shocked. But she doesn't look 'alternative', and so people read her as conservative. It alternately amuses and annoys her.
And then we have the other side of the coin: i often get the impression that i surprise people by my politeness and courtesy - despite having long hair, tits and a goatee, and a nose piercing (amongst others). :-P
At what point do the categories we create shift from being useful to useless?
A young female couple were "talking dirty" in her presence. After a while, one member of the couple made a comment along the lines of "Oops, this might be a bit much for [my friend]". My friend got the impression that this comment came about because she looks 'mainstream' due to her manner of dress and lack of tattoos and/or piercings).
Then, later on, when one member of the couple in question was describing some performance art piece, my friend, feeling very tired, tried to keep herself upright by crossing her arms across her chest. "Sorry, is this too confrontational for you?" she was asked.
As a former sex worker, this woman has had sex with literally thousands of guys. Prior to becoming a sex worker, she regularly participated in sex parties, orgies and gang bangs. She's assisted female victims of male abuse, been a union organiser, and organised and/or participated in a plethora of public political events (for IWD, Reclaim the Night, independence for East Timor, queer rights, workers' rights, etc. etc.)
Unsurprisingly, therefore, she's not easily shocked. But she doesn't look 'alternative', and so people read her as conservative. It alternately amuses and annoys her.
And then we have the other side of the coin: i often get the impression that i surprise people by my politeness and courtesy - despite having long hair, tits and a goatee, and a nose piercing (amongst others). :-P
At what point do the categories we create shift from being useful to useless?
no subject
Date: 2007-03-30 19:34 (UTC)Friend A: Friend B would be shocked by [topic of conversation].
caprine: Where on earth did you get that idea?
Friend A: He wears button-down shirts...
caprine: I've been in a threesome with him, and also he has taken so much LSD in his life that he is legally a piece of tie-dye. Stop making assumptions about people based on their clothes!